the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
