How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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