Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
