And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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