Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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