I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
