So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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