This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
