two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
