I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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