I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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