I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
