she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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