They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
