can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
