If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
