Michael Bay diarrhea
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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