If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
