I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
