1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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