she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
