I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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