ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Are my feet made of real feet?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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