it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
