I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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