I'm pants shitting drunk right now
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
