do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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