I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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