idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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