Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
