We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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