I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
