i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
and she was petting her beer can
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
