also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
