I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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