We named our party play list daddy issues
I look better un-naked...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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