Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
