She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
