I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
