my mouth tastes like poor choices
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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