SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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