If that was your dad, he is hot
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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