I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
