Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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