Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
