life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Drunk is not a location!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
