It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
