Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
