You made me cry and you don't even care
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
