If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
PANTIES FOUND
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