My nipple is on Facebook.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
