so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
