i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
