Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
