a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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